Entitlement and ingratitude in our children : Effective Parenting

Want to know what keeps most of us up at night? The dread that our children will grow up to be entitled.

This is the concern of most parents, the anxiety can be sometimes paralyzing: 

•        Will their children and grandchildren end up lazy?
•         good-for-nothings,
•         who are not contributing to society?

That’s not paranoia; the fear is grounded in reality.

Entitlement is a hot topic today. 

The root word entitled means exactly what it says—to give someone a title or a right. It used to be reserved for the wealthy and the privileged, based upon economics or status, but now it seems to have shifted to human nature and our rights—the “feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something. We live in a culture that is obsessed with the right to have what we want, whether we’ve earned it or not.

Whatever you choose to provide for your kids is really up to you. The answer will be different for every family. But when our kids begin to expect—even demand—more than our love, that’s when we have a problem. And it goes well beyond providing and pursuing material possessions.

What our culture feels entitled to isn’t just stuff. It’s the desire to fit in, to feel good or happy all the time; it’s the desire for instant gratification and the demand to receive something just because we want it, hard work optional.

Kids grow up in a reality-show world, thinking of themselves as the central character on the stage. They have Whatsapp, Facebook page etc., they are famous in their own minds, they are like rock stars, and to them there is no room (and no need) for true emotional empathy, or self-examination, or personal responsibility. Nor is there incentive or motivation to learn to work. And they think they are entitled not to have limits or boundaries or discipline.

I think if we want to tackle entitlement and ingratitude in our children, it comes down to us and our choices. We have to examine ourselves and begin there. After all, how can we show our kids gratitude unless we are thankful? How can we ask them to go upstream when we are caught in the whirlpool of our culture that demands more as the goal?